Thursday, April 9, 2009
And so the short stay saw its end and we are back to the US of A. People have been asking me whether I like being back here. And I dont know what to say.
While I was looking forward to being back to the life that I was set in to and enjoyed, I am not sure that the pampered and laid back lifestyle in Bahrain hasn't got the better of me.
I miss having all those comforts that I had - part time help for cooking cleaning and takig care of ALL chores, the convenience of ordering groceries over the phone and having them delivered within the hour, an apartment as huge as my New York office and much more lavish, bright cheery sunshine, sprawling malls, friends to go to the malls with, quality time with my baby girl, a vibrant social life, white sandy sea shores, turqoiuse blue waters...I could go on writing about it. I had just started enjoying all of it when it came to an end.
Life is strange. The grass is always greener on the other side. While I was there, I can't deny that despite the comforts, I felt an emptiness deep inside. Though I was working remotely, it wasn't the same as being in the thick of the action and being caught in the clockwork of getting up, getting ready, running to catch trains, being in office and racking brains for something or the other, rushing back home on time for the little one, and running the entire household almost single handedly! Make me sound like a superwoman right? Kind of felt like that too. And I kind of missed it too.
Life is strange. And life as a self proclaimed superwoman is tough. I had it easy back there. But was that what I really wanted? Or is this what I really want? I wish there was middleground somewhere, where the twain could meet. Its hard to get what we want, and its harder to like what we get. As Roger Waters mentioned, would you rather have a walk on part in a war, or a lead role in a cage. Well, I dont want to get all profound and Floydy about it, and no, it was not like being in a cage. The point is, we're never really quite sure about what we want. But I guess we try to derive some purpose and happiness out of everything that happens. Otherwise we couldn't sustain could we?